Hi, this is Vivacious Viola responding to the girl’s blog about feeling like she always comes last after the guy she’s dating’ kids. Here’s what I think the Naked Truth is about that: Believe me, I don’t think you are selfish (I have been there). If you let it go and not mention your concerns then it will be harder later because Elijah will wonder why it was okay at the beginning and now you have a issue with it. Your opinion will always be no higher than third in line. Elijah and the Mother will always out rank you. Don’t be a mother this early in the game. If you want a relationship with Elijah, have just a relationship, no instant family and by all means, not his backup plan . The baggage (good or bad) Elijah comes with is his. You have stated how you feel now he must decide if he has the time or wants to make the time. Having just a relationship means that he dates you the “normal way” or you are just friends who get together occasionally. Based on how you feel, don’t mix the “instant family” until you have established a solid ground. At that time you can decide if you want to move on and if it is something that you have both given a lot of time thinking about. Right now let it be about fun and not mixing households. He can talk about them of course, but don’t let it be the dominant subject. DATE!!!!!!!

Meeting someone’s family is a big deal. Meeting someone’s kids is another big deal. Let him come over (if you want) and let him be a guest and not a family member. Leave the cooking for maybe another holiday when you have worked on the two of you.

Just some food for thought

by vivaciousviola